So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
