I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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