it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
