wanna go halves on a baby?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
