i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
