I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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