My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
