i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
