Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
