is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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