I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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