Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize