I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
