Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
