Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize