Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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