bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he was CRYING into my vagina
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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