I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
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