did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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