Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
