I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
