Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
