it was like eating out sand paper
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
