i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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