Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
