I heard we made out
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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