After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
