I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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