So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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