Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I have post one night stand depression
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