What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
