So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
