Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize