Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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