scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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