Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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