You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
