Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
