it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
This toilet bowl is my home.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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