My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
