you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
