just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Holy shit dude........stairs
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
