Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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