I only kidnapped one of them. chill
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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