I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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