No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
