At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
