Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
