Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
