its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
