Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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