If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize