carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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