Porn is love you can see.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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