Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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