I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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