If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize